Polgara Knits

I had knee surgery two weeks ago, and have been holed up in my living room ever since. For the first week I was in recovery mode–not working, just lying on the couch, icing and resting. This week I’m working from home, resting the leg as much as possible before returning to normal activity. In all this time, I haven’t touched yarn ONCE, and it’s heartbreaking. My tendonitis continues to improve, but my PT hasn’t given me the all clear to pick up needles or hook. So much free time, wasted.

Honestly, it’s not just the yarn. There’s so much I could’ve accomplished during my sentence on the couch–scanning of old photos, shredding the bag of junk mail, learning a new software, redesigning this site, or even reading a book–but what have I spent that time doing? Watching dvds. Watching dvds I’ve already seen multiple times. (Except Dexter season two–that was new to me.)

A ridiculous and embarrassing waste of time.

And to make it worse? I gained ten pounds in the first week. It was my own fault, of course–my sister and brother-in-law were here from the East Coast to take care of me, and whenever I’m with them, something in my mind switches to vacation mode, and in vacation mode, I eat all the things I don’t usually allow myself. Add pizza, lasagna, cupcakes and chinese food to a week of lying on the couch, and yeah, it adds up to ten pounds. They’ve been gone a week now, though, which means I immediately went back on my normal diet, and I’ve already lost five. Not healthy, I know, but I’m going back to WW in two days after three weeks away, and I’d rather it not show me back to square one.

In other news, while the sis and bil were here, they got me a coffee table for my birthday. Yay coffee table! I am very fond of it, and am pleased with how that one little change improved the overall aesthetic of my living room. (Before, I’d been using a cardboard box covered with a blanket as my ‘table’.) Once I’m mobile again, my plan is to swap the positions of my entertainment center and bookshelves, and to paint the north wall (I’ve had a lot of spare time to think about this), but I fear my motivation is rooted in my inability to act at the moment, and that once I’m up again, I’ll lose interest in my home improvement plans. *fingers crossed* that I’m stronger than that.

It’s been awhile since my last update, I see. Thanks to my elbow injury (which I suspect was caused by lifting a 30-lb box of cat litter the totally wrong way), I’m still not allowed to knit or crochet, and it’s taking more of a toll than I’d expected.  The boredom, the fidgeting, the “what the hell do I do with my time?” of it all, I kinda saw coming. I underestimated the extent of it, but it was expected.

However, I’m also finding myself cranky, bitchy, and overreacting to the tiniest of annoyances, and I’m wondering if it’s a consequence of losing my “zen” time, those moments when it’s just me and my yarn and my thoughts, when I’m most comfortable with being with myself.

Yes, not being able to knit or crochet is slowly driving me crazy. I asked my PT if I could pleeeeeease just knit something small, and he said, “Read a book.” Yeah, thanks. That’s actually what I’ve been doing (ten books so far, it’s like the old days!), but it’s not enough. I’m not even comfortable watching dvds anymore, without something to occupy my hands. It feels like such a waste of time.

The injury is healing, but slooooowly, and I don’t see me picking up a skein anytime in the next two (*sob*) months. The doc even went so far as to mention the S word (<small>surgery</small>), which would translate even longer to yarn.

Why does my body hate me so?

I have a bulky black brace on my left wrist/forearm, thanks to a nasty case of tendonitis in my elbow. And yes, this means no knitting or crochet for the time being. This is very unhappy making, not to mention painful. I’ll confess I did pick up a crochet hook, just to see if it was possible to manipulate it around the brace. The attempt, had you seen it, was laughable. Heck, I couldn’t even pick up a little hot dog wrapped in a pastry puff at the Sex and the City event I went to on Sunday–it made a hilarious series of bounces off my brace, my right hand, and my friend Kristen’s hand before rolling across the floor towards the bar. (Smart blanket-wrapped-piggy!)

So what should I talk about instead, during this enforced separation period between me and my hooks and needles?

Well, my latest obsession involves bicycles. I recently rejoined Weight Watchers, and this time I signed up with a group near my home instead of near my office, which is going to force me out of the house on Saturday mornings (a period I usually reserve for quality time with my couch). The meeting is about a mile too far for me to walk without my bum knee collapsing, yet close enough to make me mourn the gas usage. The answer? I must buy a bicycle! I’m not sure why I’m possessed with this sudden desire to ride a bike–many bikes have languished in many garages in my past–but really, I can barely restrain myself from running to Target and buying whatever I can afford.  I haven’t done this yet, because my friends have convinced me to test-ride one of their bikes first (which I hope to do this weekend) before committing to anything. Instead, I’ve been relentlessly combing the internets, researching bikes and frames and gears and customer reviews. Ideally I hope to find something on craigslist, because I can’t afford the $400 beauties I’ve fallen in love with, but so far no dice. I can no longer grab the first $50 comfort bike I find–I now know it needs to be aluminum framed and have at least seven speeds, or I risk becoming discouraged by trying to get a heavy bike up even a modest incline.

Also, I have returned to PT (did I mention this already? I can’t remember, and am too lazy to go check) in an attempt to cure my stupid knee once and for all. This includes making an appointment with a new doctor who will take new xrays and MRIs, and this time I picked someone *in* my insurance network, so I won’t still be paying off visits three years later. (I’m two payments away from being free of the last doctor, woot!) Here’s hoping they’ll find something concrete this time, something that can be fixed with more than a vague, “Physical therapy should fix that right up.” Give me more! I need an actual diagnosis this time, dammit!

Ahem. Anyway…. Work is hellish, but it’s of my own making. I really must get over my jealousy and possessiveness. Of course, I’ve had those traits for about 38 years now, so I don’t see how I’ll be divesting myself of them anytime soon. Yay. At least my review went well.

Ok, that’s all I’ve got. Nice to see the brace isn’t getting in the way of my typing skills, at least.

This is my sentence acknowledging that it’s been far too long since my last update. There, now I can move on.

Little has changed since my last post–I’m still feeling reticent about picking up the yarn and sticks, and instead have been spending far too much time in front of the tv doing….nothing. I still haven’t frogged K’s failed hat; haven’t mailed J’s finished hat; haven’t tried again with my sister’s hat.  Damn hats! I have on occasion picked up the languishing My So-Called Scarf (the one with the bright yet scratchy Red Heart), which is now about a foot long instead of just six inches.

However, I did get started on a shawl this weekend when I took a friend to the hospital. I knew in advance she’d be needing a ride, so I reviewed my yarn, picked the Valley Yarns Wildwood that I bought at Webs over Christmas, and picked the Sunday Market Shawl for my pattern, which is basically stockinette until the very end and therefore would be easy to knit if I’d ended up in complete darkness for three hours like last time (I didn’t). Sadly, as beautiful as it’s knitting up, I’m starting to think the yarn and the pattern should never have been paired.  The shawl is narrower than I’d wanted, more like a scarf, and the fabric is denser than I’d imagined for this yarn. It’s pretty, just not what I’d wanted.

Gah! I feel like a big ball of suck right now, like I can’t pick the right pattern for any given yarn. *sigh* I could continue with this yarn and this pattern, but if it doesn’t work out, it’ll be a bitch to frog it (mohair and sparkly thread), and I don’t want to give up on the yarn. It made such a pretty shawl in the Webs store.

In other news, I’d like to thank Melanie for her lovely comment on my last post–it cheered me up that day when I saw it. I don’t think I’m over the hump yet, but I won’t give in entirely–I love yarn too much.

And finally, in totally AWESOME news, I have a new niece! Hailey is seven days old today, and looks just like her dad. Welcome to the world, Hailey darlin’! Hopefully I’ll get to meet you and your big brother this summer!